clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
