Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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