she was so not down for the gang bang
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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