wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
