just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
