I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
