Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize