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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
