Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
