Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
