Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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