Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
