dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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