I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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