This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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