quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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