I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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