I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
