Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
