if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
