Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
