ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
