somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
