they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
