My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize