So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
