Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
