Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize