dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
