I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
