this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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