We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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