you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
