I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
