Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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