It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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