i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize