I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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