I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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