Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize