She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
