nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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