Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
