That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
