Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
40s are totally the cure
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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