Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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