He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
