I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize