You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
