yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
