I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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