Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
