I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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