My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
