I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
