I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
