Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
