sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
