remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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