I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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