I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This is the high leading the old right now
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
