come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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