so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
