Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
